on making an ass of myself.
it’s sunday. we grab coffee from starbucks and head to the mall. mark wants to search jcp for a pair of dress shoes. i bid him adieu and make my way to the ladies section. not long after, i find myself in the dressing room with an armful of various clothing items. content with a pair of pants for work, i leave the dressing room and decide to check out the active wear section and make another sweep through the dresses and skirts. i find a few more things and again, head to the dressing room. as i’m about to slip off my skirt (the one you see above), i notice that something doesn’t feel right. with wide eyes and embarrassment coming over me, i do a slow turn in front of the mirror and there i see it over my shoulder… my bare ass. with nothing but a sheer layer of chiffon between it and the rest of the world. turns out the mini skirt that hides my lady bits was tucked into the waistband of the skirt. *facepalm* oh wow, i think to myself in a semi calm voice, i’ve been walking around like this for about 10 minutes. so that’s why that girl was giving me weird looks. and is that why that old man was giggling? oh shit. I JUST WALKED AROUND JCP WITH MY ASS SHOWING THROUGH MY SKIRT. i got over it real fast though – texted my girlfriends and had a good laugh. ladies, let this be a lesson. always check that your skirt isn’t tucked into your waistband. and always check the bottom of your shoes for toilet paper when coming out of the bathroom. that happened to me on a date once. i walked through an entire restaurant, thinking i was so hot, with a few squares of tp billowing behind me. i’m a real class act.